Stewardship of Relationships: Taking Care of Each Other

Text: Genesis 12:1-5; Psalm 133; I Timothy 5:1-5; John 21: 15-19 6th Sun. of Epiphany
Title: Stewardship of Relationships: Caring for Each Other February 14, 2010

We watched the Youtube Video of “J&K’s Wedding Dance“.

I recall reading about Panda Bears and the amount of bamboo they eat – up to 84 pounds every day. The problem with bamboo is it is not very nutritious. So, we might ask, what is the attraction? What do you suppose? Sugar. Bamboo shoots have a little bit of sweet in the center – it’s the sugar they are after.

The Panda Bear’s affinity for bamboo makes me think about churches and our affinity for programs and events. Many church programs are like bamboo – there is some sweetness at the center of all our busyness – the joy of fellowship, perhaps, or the fact that if we are busy doing church things we might be able to forget about some of the problems that plague us. But after 14 ½ years as your pastor, the question is not: How many church meetings did you attend? How many Bible Studies, Mission Suppers, worship services… The real question is: Are you experiencing the kingdom of God more now than you were 14 ½ years ago? Are you more joyfully connected to Jesus, and more generous in your love and service to your neighbor? In your home, where you work – is there a greater sense of meaning, purpose and satisfaction in the various aspects of your life? That’s the measure of the nutritious value of our spiritual disciplines.

This is the fifth message on Stewardship – We are looking at Relationships, with a Valentine’s Day nod toward the question of how we are doing “loving our neighbor”. Nothing in life gives us more joy than relationships. Nothing is more challenging. One of the specific ways the challenge of relationships plays out in the church is the tension that can exist between generations. Lest you think this is a recent phenomenon, I submit to you I Timothy, chapter 5!

The author of Timothy homes in on the intersection between family relationships and church responsibilities – If you don’t provide for your relatives, and especially for our own household, you have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever.

The text is interesting for its focus on the definition of what it means to be a “widow” worthy of the assistance of the church. If a widow has family, her needs should be taken care of by them. There is a fascinating concern in this chapter for the resources of the church. Later in that chapter we read:

If any woman who is a believer has widows in her care, she should continue to help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.

It’s not the churches’ primary responsibility to take care of the elderly. That can sound harsh. But it may be that the author knows a church program can never, no matter how efficient and well-planned it is, it can never take the place of family relationships.

The “traditional” church of the generation older than me, “baby boomer” church – church the way people my age are used to, and the “post-modern, emergent” church – the church that the 25 and 30 year olds are creating – are very different from each other. One of the significant “shifts” is this: younger people are less interested in and inspired by “programs” than they are “relationships”. It’s not how many church meetings you go to, or how many ministry teams you serve on; it’s the relationships that are established that counts, and how those relationships make a kingdom of God difference in our world – here and now.

David Willett has written a book: The Pinch: How the Baby Boomers Took their Children’s Future – and Why They Should Give It Back.

As I experience the Christian Church, and the AARP, and people in general, I am increasingly coming to the opinion that the so-called “boomers” have an air of entitlement about us that needs to be called out.

This week’s issue of The Economist points out that people in the 25 to 34 year old range have seen their wealth fall, whereas those aged 55 to 64 have seen their wealth triple. A growing proportion of state spending is going to our aging population, while we cut spending on education. We attribute this to demographic realities – there are more older people than younger, so it stands to reason we would increase spending for our elderly. But regardless of the demographic realities, I think it is fair to say that many churches see a far higher percentage of older people than younger in their pews on a Sunday morning – a percentage that does not reflect demographic realities.

It’s not just wealth that is the issue. It is power. The power to lead, to see your ideas and visions catch some wind and come to life.

(If the video of J&K’s Wedding is shown … ) It’s the desire to be able to “process into the church” in the way that most reflects your own experience of God’s joy and presence in your life!

I am going to state this, acknowledging that you are free to disagree with me: At this point in my life, my generation must begin to decrease, so that the coming generations can increase. Baby boomers have taken up an inordinate amount of space in every sense of the word. It is time to give some of it back. I’m not suggesting euthanasia, or the denial of necessary and appropriate medical care for our elderly. I’m not suggesting the elderly should be put out to pasture or kept out of decision-making. I don’t mean that every 50 year-old should resign from positions of leadership. Rather, I’m saying this: Make sure there is a 25 or 30 year old on every Ministry Team – and make sure their voice is both heard and honored!

People in my generation and older must begin to demonstrate the spiritual maturity of leading through encouragement. Begin to play the less up-front roles without leaving the game, understand that our secure future is dependent upon the next generation’s secure and meaningful present.

The article in The Economist says there are two realities we are bequeathing to our children and grandchildren – massive debt for which they are ill-equipped to pay, and environmental degradation for which there may be no solutions. Both are the result of my generation’s selfishness. We have not been good stewards of our world or wealth. We have thought more of ourselves than our children. It’s time to repent.

For the past 10 years I have shared ministry with someone in their 20s and 30s. First, with Adam Sabo when he came full time on staff, then with Jon Zander, and now with Art Summers. My position as pastor, ironically enough, has not been diminished, but enhanced by having these young people as colleagues. By relinquishing a measure of power, I have been empowered, challenged, and, most wonderfully of all, richly blessed. I hope I have mentored them; but I know they have mentored me.

For this congregation now, I do believe we are called to be stewards of the next generation. And stewardship is never “about me”, but always about “us”. As a young person I was never much interested in hearing older people tell me how it used to be, or how it ought to be. I was itching to try out my own ideas. In his book, David Willett speaks of “an unvoiced contract that binds the generations”. Willet points out that for this ‘contract’ to work, there has to be mutual respect. His research suggests the balance is strongly tipped in favor of the older generation, compromising the trust that might otherwise be at work.

Peter, do you love me? If you do, you have to feed my sheep – all my sheep.

We are blessed with Pastor Ingrid, our Pastor of Visitation who is filled with love for the elderly and committed to ministering to them. But she also has a heart for families and children. I know this, because she has shared her concerns with me.

We are blessed with Art Summers our 32 year-old Pastor of Family Ministry – he has gone to the Greenwood and played cards with folks who live there. He is as happy to see our oldest members even while he is texting some young person struggling to find their place in the world. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you, says the Lord Almighty to Abram.

The prophet Isaiah tells us that if ever the wolf will lie down with the lamb – natural-born enemies – if ever they will live in peace with each other, it’s going to be because a child leads them. You know that bracelet people were wearing that had the letters: WWJD? What Would Jesus Do? It occurred to me the other day – Jesus never could have given advice that a 60 year-old would give, or a 50 year-old, or 40 year-old! He could only give the advice of a 3 year-0ld. Let’s not leave the 30 year olds behind!

Perhaps this would be a way to measure the spiritual maturity of this congregation: does our life together encourage you, empower you, strengthen you such that you can care for the people who are dependent upon you with faith, with hope, with joy, with gratitude? In the toughest times, in the midst of the most painful decisions, do you know you are loved, and you are not alone?

The other day I wrote a blog called 3 Surges in a Flat World. I was lamenting the fact that while we can get supplies, food, medical attention and all manner of comfort to tens of thousands in Vancouver for the Olympics, and the same to the thirty thousand soldiers joining with tens of thousands already there, “surging” in Afghanistan, we can’t seem to get what the people of Haiti need to where it needs to go following the devastating earthquake. “Why is that?” I pondered. And then, one of our parishioners pointed out the following: When I speak of the athletes and the soldiers, I say “ours”; when I speak of Haiti’s poor, I say “them”.

Jesus knows no “them”; he only knows “us”. Until “them” becomes “us” in my own mind and in the manner in which I speak, the disconnect will remain. We are called, anytime we encounter “them”, to share the good news and to love “them” until we understand – “them” are “us”!

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